“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.”

~ Eckhart Tolle

Today, let's have a talk about a tough topic - anger. When's the last time you felt angry? What triggered you? If you're like most people, it might have been one of these:

1. Frustration: Being stuck in traffic or endlessly on hold with customer service
2. Fear: Feeling worried about money as your spouse goes out and buys something extravagant & expensive.
3. Hurt feelings: Feeling disrespected, mistreated, or unfairly criticized.
4. Injustice: Witnessing unfair treatment toward you or another.

When you get angry, how do you react? See which one of the following best describes you:

1. Verbal aggression: yelling, shouting, swearing, insults
2. Physical aggression: Smashing things, stomping your feet, poking your finger in someone's face
3. Passive aggression: Ignoring, sulking, giving the silent treatment
4. Criticism and sarcasm: Sharp, cutting remarks.
5. Withdrawal: Avoiding the situation altogether.

My go to reactions are sulking and avoiding, which only serve to let my anger simmer in a big, fat cauldron of resentment until it boils over into those sharp, cutting remarks. Regardless of your reaction, you've likely seen the results of unchecked anger in your own life. Let's just say it usually isn't pretty.

While anger is a natural emotion, expressing it in healthy ways is crucial to maintaining healthy relationships and your own emotional well-being.

Here are a few suggestions (FYI - all of these are really hard for me!)

1. Take a Time Out: If you can, step away for a few moments instead of jumping right in. Say, "I need a moment to calm down before we talk about this." Then go to another room, go for a walk, try to take a few deep breaths and let things settle.
2. Choose your words: Express your feelings using "I" statements instead of "you." For instance, "I feel afraid when our funds are running low, " instead of "You never think about our finances before you go and buy useless things!"
3. Listen: A tough one, I know. Can you allow other people to share their perspective? You don't have to agree, and you don't have to tolerate hurtful speech, just listen without jumping in to defend or justify your position.
4. Physical activity: Find something to help to release pent-up anger and tension in a healthy way. Here's something I do all the time...

This episode of Take 5 Yoga is a great way to release anger and pent-up emotion. It combines deep breathing with physical activity, starting slow and building in intensity until you feel both relaxed and empowered. Give it a try by clicking here.

Yoga is a great way to release emotional tension. According to the Yoga Basics website:

"Unexpressed emotions become stored and held in the body and, over time, create physical tightness, stress, tension, and sometimes pain. Yoga is the perfect tool to release emotional tension in the body and to experience the healing that comes with this release."

Ready to befriend your Inner Dragon? Why not join us for Midlife Yoga this week? You can register right here.

Releasing cute little puffs of smoke,

~ Rosemary