“Boundaries are like fences; they keep out what you don’t want and protect what you value.”

– Henry Cloud

The emails were coming in hot after last week’s newsletter about staying on your own side of the street. (Read the full post here) Obviously it’s an issue that resonates with many in this community. One reader said this:

“Rosemary, I’ve been trying to stay on my side of the street. But what about when someone keeps coming over to MY SIDE of the street uninvited?”

An excellent question. That my friends, is the flip-side to this complicated human coin. Let's explore...

Have you ever been in the company of a person, and after spending a bit of time listening to them complain or rant & rave, you feel totally drained? Or maybe you’re watching the news or scrolling through social media only to realize that you now feel anxious, angry or envious? What’s happening?

Someone else’s energy is overwhelming you. Someone else has crossed onto your side of the street, dumped all their garbage and left you to deal with the mess. In effect, it’s as though an “energy vampire” has sucked you dry. The vampire walks away feeling great, having just unloaded their problems or toxic viewpoints onto you. And you? You feel like you were run over by a truck!

I’m reminded of the insurance commercial where Mayhem shows up in human form creating havoc. Just like in the commercial, you need insurance to protect yourself from mayhem. Like a fence around your garden, you need some energetic boundaries so that YOU get to decide who or what comes in.How do you create this safe space on your side of the street? When it happens to me, I do 2 things:

1. Clear out Toxic or Negative Energy

Just like weeding your garden, you need to clear away the energetic debris that has been left behind by someone else. Here’s what you might try:

• Take a deep breath, and as you exhale, whisper “I clear away all that is not for my highest good.”
• Wash your hands or take a shower. As you feel the water wash over you, whisper, “I charge this water with cleansing and purification. May it wash away all that no longer serves me.”
• Place your feet flat on the floor. Imagine the unwanted energies draining away through your feet & into the Earth. Whisper “All negative energies are cleared and held by the solid space beneath me.”

2. Build Energetic Boundaries

Like a fence around your garden, establishing energetic boundaries keeps you from feeling drained or depleted by other people’s energies. Once you’ve created a boundary, it’s a lot harder for any vampires to get close. Then YOU can choose when you share your love without feeling responsible for emotions that don't belong to you. Try this:

• Imagine creating a clear bubble around yourself, especially before spending time with a known “vampire.” (I’ll show you how in the video below.) Whisper “I hold clear space, & only peace enters.”
• Use a spray of essential oils or even plain water, spraying it in a circle around your upper body before leaving the house. Whisper “I create a loving shield, deflecting all negative energy.”
• Imagine that each piece of negativity coming your way is a ping pong ball. Instead of grabbing your paddle & frantically trying to hit back (which drains your energy), let the ping ping balls pass you by. An insult coming your way? Dodge & weave. Complaints & problems hurled in your direction? Step aside & watch them harmlessly fly by. To be clear, you’re not being a coward or a doormat when you don’t engage. To the contrary, an energy vampire feeds off the fight & without your engagement he will soon lose steam, eventually going in search of easier prey.

In today’s Take 5 Yoga video, I’m sharing 3 practices I use to clear & protect my energies. The Tai Chi-inspired Cast Away the Moon uses a sweeping motion to rid the energy field of toxic debris. The Sacred Cleanse imagines a pool of sacred water to fully wash away the energies that don’t belong to you. The Bubble creates a shield of transparent energy; love flows through but you’re protected from the lower energies like anger & fear. Take a few moments to try it now:

This yoga practice is not magic. It doesn’t cast a spell to wipe away evil. Yoga is simply an invitation to move your body with intention. In this case, the intention is to clear & protect. And because yoga is the union of body, mind & spirit, what you do in the body is remembered & available to you whenever you see Mayhem making its way to your side of the street.

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Until next time,

~ Rosemary